I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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