Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This is the high leading the old right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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