I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
