you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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