Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
