were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're a waste of cheezeits
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
