First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)