Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
