Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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