And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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