my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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