peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
