i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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