i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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