i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize