i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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