She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
