Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
