She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
