i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
