i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
