i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
