people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
