If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We have so much sex to catch up on
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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