I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
