we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
