so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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