i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
A bitchslap is in order.
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