38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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