WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
