it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize