so let's talk penis.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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