is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
