He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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