i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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