i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
