we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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