oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
