Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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