i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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