I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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