I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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