I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Alive.
So much puke
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
COCAINE IS GR8
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
