If i come over, it means nothing
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
