i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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