if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
