Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
