You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could punch you in the face.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
