I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
