Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
