***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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