all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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