Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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