Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize