Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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