Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
dude. I can hear the air.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
