I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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