Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
