Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
