Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
