I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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