Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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