you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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