I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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