i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
