The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
