You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
