like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
