Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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