Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize